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system of thought (demos​?​)

by godstar

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1.
lone sun 02:49
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im the lone sun rising from the east and no matter how long it's been i find myself wishing i was by your side and i know time changes and we change too that doesn’t stop me from my stubborn ways been stuck in a shallow daze for days i pass strangers on the street and wish that they’re you and im still stuck in my head afraid of my friends writing soliloquies by night me and myself, we like to fight maybe i never knew what i wanted til it came like a dream so i reached right out for it and it laughed back at me
2.
on the lips (frankie cosmos cover) 02:01
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the recording quality of this is ehh
3.
big one 03:07
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don’t feel big but im a big one now don’t feel small but i can crawl right down close your eyes and look around when did life become so loud and i thought about moving to europe to be saccharine and sanguine so very unlike me thank you for the book you gave me i read it front to back can i get you a gift everything in my life feels like the first time and everything if my life is changing all the time all the time trying to have peace of mind no you can’t go back you can’t go back now and you can’t go home i wanna scream and be free ahhhh b
4.
walk away 02:39
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sitting and i feel low so i punch on the radio some kind of song thats sad i think i heard it in a dream something made for me nothings ever quite what it seems im just a boy stuck in my head with desires and a couple of friends and when im out in the world i dont know who i am nothing to write home about but yeah i shouldn’t complain after all a couple of saturdays who am i pretending for emotion is just a metaphor i don’t want to walk away x sorry to say i don’t want to walk away

about

i wrote these songs since summer began. im in a liminal place in my life and have a lot of stuff to think about and to process through art. im not totally proud of this music, but im not totally ashamed of it either. mostly i hope that this brings some moment of joy to whoever is reading this or otherwise consoles them. im making this all to make music but also as witness to my own life.

gonna release possibly better versions of these songs as well with new ones towards the end of the summer as a full album.

this isn't sartre's "literature of total engagement" but maybe its something human that u all can enjoy

solidarity nd love 4everandevr <3333

credits

released July 20, 2019

all songs written and recorded by ben lipkin, except for on the lips, which is by frankie cosmos.

thanks to chris nitti for advice on mixing lonely son.

thanks to caleb and malcolm for talking to me about music and the relation of marx and freud last night.

thanks to all of these people in no particular order for being in my life and helping me get through the last few months:

mom n dad
chris nitti
quinn barnitt
dora kianovsky
olive fretts howard
peter glynn
misha nicholas
hannah silver
caroline stemmerman
katie newman
kayla bobb
nadia benslimane
sage territo
adison nadler
charlie baker
franca rosenblatt
alex klint
++probably others im forgetting sorry

and u if you are reading this!!

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godstar New Jersey

mapso/suny purchase

eat yr mind

say hi
benlipkin100@gmail.com

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